It came from the swamp

I woke with horror this morning to find that a horrible creature had taken up residence on TH's* face while I slept in. A long, hairy, bristly creature that is scaring my kids and making the dogs howl.

Oh, I'd seen it before. It comes around when TH relents to pressure, shaves his winter beard and, um, gets a wild hair to do something goofy.

Family-wide panic ensues. We avoid the Swamp Thing at all cost. We refuse to go into public places with it. We don't feed or eat near it. Kisses are out of the question.

Tonight, we resorted to whatever means we had at hand to eradicate the rodent-beast.

We tried shouting it off TH's face.

My little girl tried to pluck its spiny tentacles one by one as TH napped, but TH defended it with halfhearted swats. He was possessed!

In desperation, my oldest son chased it around the house with duct tape. Swamp Thing merely laughed in defiance.

Finally, we realized it was time for the big guns: We took a photo.

Hey! Could it be? Is that the trimmer I hear up in the bathroom?

For the sake of all humanity, we can only hope.


*TH = The Husband