Beagles cannot walk on water

So Rosie the Fat Beagle has a lot of nicknames. The neighbors call her The Slut because she hooks up with their dog whenever she gets loose. She is also known as The Illegal Beagle, The Bugle (have you ever heard a beagle bark?), Dope on a Rope, Fat Dog and Bagel. And while I've long suspected that she's not exactly an Einstein among canines, I learned recently that she is just plain...challenged.

See, we put the solar cover on the pool for the first time a couple weeks ago. She of the limited cerebral cells -- who until this point had been endlessly fascinated with the other beagle staring back up at her every time she looked into the pool -- noticed the change and gradually came to believe that the pool had gelled over into a great blue beagle parking lot. So she stepped onto it. The cover began to swallow her up just as I jumped in, clothes and all, to save my beloved but boob-ish pooch.

As the shaking and exhausted mass of doggie pudge emerged from the pool, the look that our only slightly less-than-human labrador retriever gave her said it all:

Dumbass.